I have recently discovered a giant flaw in my personality. A juxtaposition if you will. Or maybe it is an undiagnosed social anxiety disorder- Dinner Party Panic or DPPD maybe. If I had the patience to start a Psychology degree now, in 3 years I would definitely do my honour’s thesis on this exact topic.
The subject of this thesis would be: ME, of course(I’m not sure what the ethics would be surrounding doing a study about myself however). The scenario: I absolutely love dinner parties, I love cooking, I love decorating and I LOVE the hours spent on Pinterest that go with choosing the right recipe’s and themes. I send out the invites, do the shopping, start the cooking and lay the table…. And this is where the panic sets in. What if some people don’t come at the last minute? How will the table setting be messed up if that happens? What if they hate the food? What if the different groups of people don’t get along? What if there is a looong awkward silence? Will I be expected to fill it with some witty repartee? This is usually accompanied by what could definitely be diagnosed as a severe panic attack by most healthcare professionals. I often consider cancelling a dinner party just before the guests arrive, or even just leaving a note saying “Enjoy the food- sorry I couldn’t make it, thank-you for coming though”!
I must be honest that usually these dinner parties run without a hitch and somewhere after the second glass of wine and the main course I actually find myself having a decent time, some could even use the word fun. Goodbyes are said amongst giggles and thank-you’s. Yet afterwards as I sit washing dishes, I breathe a sigh of relief, as if I’m letting out a breath I’ve been holding all night.
Somehow I continually find myself in the same position, while I type this blog after I have just sent out the invites to a dinner party on Thursday and am busy scouring Pinterest. Roast chicken or Lasagna? Or chicken lasagna? Or maybe little mini chicken lasagna’s made in muffin tins (Pinterest idea, not mine). But what if they are gluten intolerant? Or hate chicken? Or hate wine?…. The panic of an introvert that loves entertaining, never a panic free moment!